Thursday, August 29, 2013

If You Like to Scare Little Children, You Probably Shouldn't Be a Pediactric Physician

Dear Doctor,

While you showed up to our appointment 1 1/2 hours late without an apology or any excuse, I can still find it in my heart to forgive you because that is a busy doctor's life.  {I would like to suggest you take another looky-loo at your "bed side manners" to see what improvements could be made.  Trust me, there are a few.}  However, when you kept insisting on trying to "dazzle" me with your so-called creative solutions to parenting problems that do not exist in my house, I draw the line.  My 6 year old now believes she has to worry about monsters under the bed because you wanted to impress me with "your" "new" idea about monster spray to ward off any monsters hiding in her closet and under her bed.  She firmly believed monsters were not real until you, the expert, decided to ask about the monster under her bed.  Really?!!  If you had any children of your own, I would crouch down outside their bedrooms wearing a boogeyman mask so that you could be impressed when I tried to soothe them with my magical  anti-boogeyman air freshener (patent pending). 

And don't you think for one second that my barely 6 year old child needs to be treated by a behavioral specialist because she has an accident once in awhile.  What kid doesn't?  We will not think it over but we will consider whether or not we will continue to be your patients.  Granted, you will be hard to replace because there aren't many doctors out there that can keep their patients waiting AND scare the little children.  You, good doctor, are virtually alone in your field.  Kudos.

In conclusion, my parenting style ROCKS!  I am fun, involved and provide my girls with every essential childhood experience that will fill them full of warm, fuzzy memories when they look back on their lives.  Bottom line, they are safe and happy.  I hope you decide to change the way you approach pediatric medicine and that you  never have your own children.

Warm Regards,

Mama Bear

P.S.  I can run creative circles around you any day!  Put that in your chart!